Break Up

So tonight I broke up with my boyfriend Adrian. Actually, I wasn't the one to break up with him. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I cared about him so much as a friend that I didn't want to lose that friendship. So because I'm a coward, I told Jess to do it. And she did it. I guess I should explain why I wanted to break up in the first place.

You see, he was just too much of a friend to be anything else to me. I mean I liked him, but only as a friend. He felt strongly for me though, talking to other people about me, saying I love you, he was already trying to figure out a Christmas gift for me... I couldn't handle that. He scared me by moving too fast, and there just wasn't anything there for me. I wanted to keep his friendship though, which is why I prolonged the break up for as long as possible, but some of my good friends told me I had to do it. They told me to just do it, stop being selfish, and do what's right for me (all three of those advices came from different people xD).

But when I got him on the phone... I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want him to get mad at me... so I had Jess do it. Shortly after that, I received a PM on HE from him and this is how it read:

now the thing is i wouldent be mad at you if you had the nerve to tell me to my face the fact you coudlent evan tell me over the phone is an insult so the truth is i want you out of my life you not who i thought you where i thought you where diffrent but your just the same as evryone else please dont talk to me

So I tried to explain it in this pm:

what the hell? I couldn't bring myself to do it, okay. I don't like making other people unhappy and I couldn't bring myself to do that to you. Yeah I'm a coward, but you wanna know what. Don't you dare accuse me of being the bad guy. I still wanna be your friend and I couldn't even bare to do that to someone I care about. I can't believe you, for you to tell me that, proves that maybe I shouldn't even want to be friends with you.


and this was his reply:

idc what you do just leave me alone please

So, in trying not to loose him as I friend I ended up doing just that. But I don't feel that bad about it, because if he can't accept the reasons why I did what I did then I don't need to waste my time with a person like that even as a friend. I did what I had to, because I couldn't let it go on, it would have been much worse. A friend of mine he was confiding in, says that she told him that he needed to back off a little bit or he'd scare me. That's just what he did, and I wonder why he couldn't just listen to the advice that he was given.


Love from,
Amby